literature

Piepants

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Two stallions were on a field near Ponyville, playing with a frizbee. One was an earth pony called Gear, the other was a pegasus called Cyniquote. They were checking how far they could throw it.
Gear said:"All right! That's gotta be at least a 100 meters or something!"
"How is that even possible? You're not a superhero, you know."
"Don't remind me..."
"Seriously, how is it possible?"
"I glued a metal plate under it. Fun idea, huh? It's not cheating if we're BOTH at an advantage."
"You don't know what "advantage" means, do you?"
"Just get the frizbee and throw it already."
Cyniquote got the frizbee, flew a bit in the air, and started spinning.
Gear yelled:"Hey, Cyniquote!"
Cyniquote stopped the spinning and the frizbee slipped out of his hoof and went into Ponyville.
"Be careful where it goes."

Suddenly, they heard a window break. Gear cringed and Cyniquote said:"I'm in so much trouble."
He heard babies cry and thought:"You're really not making this easy, babies."
Nervously, he flew over to the sound of crying and saw that he broke the window of a pastry shop called "Sugarcube corner". He went in and saw that a table was broken by the frizbee and Mr. and Mrs. Cake, the shop owners, comforting their two kids. He thought:"You're all going to hate me..." Suddenly, Pinkie Pie came out of the kitchen and saw the mess:"Whaaat!? Who did this?!"
"That would be me..."
Pinkie quickly rolled up a newspaper and lightly hit Cyniquote a few times:"Bad pony! Bad pony!"
Cyniquote felt nothing, but complained:"When did I become a misbehaving puppy?"
The Cakes calmed down the babies and noticed Pinkie Pie and Cyniquote. Mrs. Cake said:"Pinkie, stop that please. We'll handle this. Go back to work, please."
10 minutes later, Cyniquote walked into the kitchen, saying:"Here's the thing. I'll work here as a cashier until I pay of the repairs. And I'm telling you this so you don't disturb me, OK?"
"Okie-dokie!"
"Well, you calm down quickly, I'll give you that, Pinkamena."
"What?"
"My sister made an annoying nickname for me, so I figured I don't wanna be a hypocrite."
"Oh, don't worry, my nickname isn't annoying."
Cyniquote thought:"She's making sense... this is a good day for her."

Later that day, Cyniquote took an order:"Pinkie, 12 chocolate donuts!"
From the kitchen, Pinkie threw a box on Cyniquote's counter, and the 12 donuts one by one into the box. She said:"Donut touch them yet, they're hot!"
Cyniquote replied:"Haha, you're killin' me, Pinkie! You really are..."
Mr. Cake approached, carrying a piece of paper, saying:"Cyniquote, Pinkie Pie, get over here."
The two ponies did so and Mr. Cake said:"We got an order from a village far from Ponyville. It's a box of raspberry cupcakes."
Pinkie Pie said:"Ooo! They're my favourite, I make them all the time! Well, maybe they're in my top 5! The first one would be..."
Cyniquote repeated in his head:"It's a temporary job, it's a temporary job..."
Mr. Cake said:"Quiet, please. I need both of you to deliver them over." and handed Cyniquote over the map with the village marked.
Cyniquote said:"I think I can fly them over alone."
"Well... Pinkie doesn't have the best navigation skill, and frow what I've seen, you don't have the best social skills."
"Hey, the first one might be true, but... okay, both's true...", Cyniquote said in a slightly depressed tone.

Pinkie Pie and Cyniquote went out, Pinkie with the box on her back, and Cyniquote with the map in his hooves.
"Ok, buddy, let's deliver! I hope I won't get lost in a waffle factory this time."
"About that, I got a friend that could help us out."
They got to Gear's house, explained everything and Gear replied:"Sure, I'll help you out."
Pinkie Pie said:"That's great! Just one question, why is there a gate between your and Cynquote's house? "
"It's better if I show you."
Gear opened the Gate and revealed a machine with wheels, two seats with belts, and engine and two handles.
"I call it:"the G-carriage"."
Pinkie Pie quckly jumped on one of the seats:"Can I drive? Pretty please!"
Cyniquote said:"I think it's better if I drive.", while thinking:"I love this town too much to let her drive."
Gear said:"This handle makes you go left and right and this one adjusts your speed. Good luck! And Cyniquote, sorry I made you throw the frizbee the wrong way."
"Eh, it's mostly my fault."

Cyniquote tried driving the G-carriage:"Aaahh! Whoa! Why is the street so narrow? I almost hit that tree!"
Pinkie Pie saw the ponies running in fear and said:"Let me help you."
She held the two handles and drove perfectly.
Cyniquote blushed and looked away, but said:"Yeah... good job..."
The two ponies drove out of Ponyville and Cyniquote said:"Yes, according to the map, we're going the right way."
"How about a song to kill time? Raspberry cupcakes! They're the cupcakes, for you and me! Raspberry cupcakes! Are the cupcakes..."
"Please stop, you're being annoying."
"Okay, I'll stop...And try a new style!", Pinkie said and started beatboxing:" Pschpfmpsch, cupcakes, pschpfmpsch, cupcakes..."
"Where did you get that hoodie?"
She sang in a male voice:" Raayaayaaaayaayaayaaaayspberry cuuupcakesaaay! They are cuuupcaaakes, for you and..."
"Stop already! I don't care if most ponies join your songs for some reason, I'm in no mood for them!"
Pinkie Pie looked at him with a sad expression for a few moments, making him say:"Sorry, I just... had a stressful day."

The two ponies were in silence for a few minutes, until Cyniquote decided to break it:"Umm... nice driving."
"Thanks! Did Gear really make this?"
"Yeah. He's always making something in his backyard. I wonder what he'll do next."
"Maybe he'll make special pants that have slots for carrying pies!"
"Good luck walking with those.", Cyniquote said, making them both laugh.
Cyniquote looked up, saying:"We should probably find a shelter, it looks like rain's gonna start soon."
"I have a solution!", Pinkie said as she put umbrella hats on her and Cyniquote."
The rain started, but the hats did their job. Cyniquote said:"Huh, silly, yet effective."

After the rain, Cyniquote said:"Well, I gotta admit, your hats are great! We're completely dry and... I forgot to hide the map from the rain, terrific..."
"No worries, we can ask the carriage over there for directions."
She got out of the G-carriage, approached a little and yelled:"Heey! Over here!"
Cyniquote squinted his eyes and recognized what it really was:"Pinkie, that's not a carriage, that's a wild bear!"
The bear charged at Pinkie Pie, but Cyniquote picked her up so the bear couldn't reach her.
He thought:"Huh, not very heavy for such a big eater."
He quickly dropped her on her seat, sat himself and yelled:"Full speed away!"
Pinkie Pie drove in fear for a while and Cyniquote looked back:"Great, we lost him!", but the G-carriage stopped.
Pinkie Pie said:"I think we ran out of fuel."
"You just had to atract the bear, didn't you?"
"I was only trying to help..."
"Ugh, fine, I guess the first thing we should do is to get the G-carriage back to Ponyville...or the village, I don't know what's closer."
Pinkie Pie and Cyniquote were pushing the vehicle when Cyniquote said:"This sucks. We're lost, we have to push this huge thing..."
"And the cupcakes are cold."
Cyniquote started to mock her:"Oh no, the cupcakes! Junk food is tons more important than getting home!"
"You left me with nothing more important to complain about."

After a while, Pinkie Pie said:"How about we shorten the trip a little?"
"Please don't sing."
"I mean telling stories! Let me tell you about the first time I babysat the Cakes's babies."
"About that, how is one of them a pegasus and one a unicorn? The parents are earth ponies."
"Hmmm...I forgot! It was complicated. But that's not important now."
After the story, Cyniquote said:"So they can both already use their abilities... and one of them broke a faucet with one hit... I really hope they're not vengeful."
"Haha, c'mon, silly, there's no such thing as a vengeful baby!"
"I don't know, I'm a pretty big weirdness magnet.", he said and he muttered:"Which explains why I'm stuck with her..."

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie saw a dark rock a little smaller than her and exclaimed:"Cyniquote! We're saved!"
She started to jump around him and the G-carriage, cheering:"We're saved! We're saved!"
"Quiet! Why don't you tell me how we're saved instead?!"
She ran over to the rock, hugged it and said:"This!"
"It's just a stupid boulder!"
"It's not just a boulder, it's a fuel rock!"
"What?"
"I grew up on a rock farm. My sister Maud thaught me about all kinds of rocks!"
"You could be right, but we can't put a rock that big in the fuel slot, unless..."

Cyniquote flew up holding the rock, saying:"Ooof... did you back away?"
"Of course!"
Cyniquote dropped the rock on the ground, breaking it into around 10 smaller pieces. Pinkie Pie put all the pieces she could and got in her seat.
"Ok, let's see if it... Hey, wait for me!"
Cyniquote flew over, got in his seat, looked up and said:"Maud, wherever you are, I just wanna say, you're awesome!"

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I   TWO HOURS LATER    I
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The two ponies got to the village. Cyniquote said:"Uuugh, this took forever..."
"I don't know. For some reason it only felt like a second. Oh, there's the adress!"
"Great, now go deliver so we can get back to Ponyville."
Pinkie Pie got to the door, knocked and a stallion opened up.
"Here are the cupckaes you ordered!"
"Great, I've benn waiting for them all day...hey, where are the sprinkles?"
"We don't make them with sprinkles."
"How do you expect me to eat these with no sprinkles!?"
"But..."
He shoved the box back in Pinkie's hooves:"I won't buy these! Do you ever think about the customer?"
The stallion slammed the door as Pinkie Pie walked back to the vehicle, teary eyed.
Cyniquote said:"Pinkie...what happened?"
"We forgot the sprinkles... it made him pretty angry..."

Cyniquote looked at the door angrily, took the cupcakes and got to the door. He knocked and the stallion opened, saying:"I already told you, I won't buy these!"
"Well today's your lucky day, because these are free!", he said as he rammed the cupcakes in his face.
Cyniquote got back to the car and Pinkie Pie asked:"What happened?"
"He ate them, in one bite. Now go ask for directions and get us home, please."
She did and soon, the two ponies were on their way back to Ponyville.
Cyniquote said:"So I have to work two more weeks, maybe more for the map that I ruined... maybe it won't be so bad."
"That's the spirit! Can we celebrate with a song?"
"Hmmm... yeah, go ahead."
"Raspberry cupcakes! They're the cupcakes! For you and me!"
Cyniquote shrugged and joined her:"Raspberry cupcakes! They're the cupcakes! Free delivery!..."
I love Spongebob and one of my favorite episodes is "Pizza delivery". Why not do a homage?
This story was primarily a comedy, so it doesn't make as much sense as usual. I'm sorry if I made it too illogical.
© 2015 - 2024 ABrightSide
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GolliatTaillog's avatar
Hehehe, I enjoyed it.

And now that you've proven your worth, you can enjoy this piece of crap I made too: golliattaillog.deviantart.com/…